The Bisque Man
by Magnus72Bolt
Summary: Follow the life of Jaune as the Bisque man and the situations he and other members of RWBY are caught up in. Hilarity ensues. 2nd chapter is up players!
1. Chapter 1

**Helllllllllo Party people, I am Magnus72Bolt. Enjoy the story, props to those who know where I got my inspiration**

It is a beautiful day in Vale, we see nice couple waltz into a lovely shop

(Ghira and Kali Beladonna enter the shop, they notice only two other people in the small establishment Sage and Scarlett enjoying their food)

Ghira: Where are we honey?

Kali: Well I know how much you love Bisque, so for our anniversary I found the best bisque place around

Ghira: You are the greatest woman alive (Ghira embraces Kali in a brief tender hug) Seriously I love Bisque (he raises his right hand) you (then puts his right hand down and raises his left) Bisque (he then put his left hand down and raises his right hand) you (then puts his right hand down and raises his left) Bisque (Ghira noticing the annoyed look on Kali's face, puts his left hand down and raises his right hand and nervously says) and you, you always wins (he then put his right arm on her left shoulder)

Kali: yeah (she then put her left arm on his right shoulder) that's right, okay (she goes up to the counter with Ghira in tow and ring the bell)

(not a moment later, out of the the kitchen a very dapper looking man wearing a black tuxedo, golden vest, black bow tie around his neck, white gloves, and circular glasses that made it really hard to see the wearers eyes)

Jaune: Hey hi… hello… hi guys, um welcome to my restaurant of food (he gestures to his menu on the wall) Would you guys like something to eat?

Ghira: Yeah we heard you guys had really good bisque

Jaune very excitedly: BIS-QUE

Ghira a little hesitantly: yeah so what can you tell us ab- (Jaune interrupts)

Jaune: Tomatoe bisque, you like tomatoes?

Ghira shaking his head: yeah yeah

Jaune: Mushroom Bisque

Ghira quietly says to Kali: Oh my favorite

Jaune: Esparagus Bisque

Ghira with a disgusted face: Not so much

Jaune: Lettuce Bisque

Kali says skeptically: you have a lettuce bisque

Jaune: Oh you like lettuce, ok well let's see (goes to look at the menu) a lettuce risotto maybe (goes back to looking at the couple) a lettuce wrap (glances back at the menu and says slowly) a lettuce…salad?

Ghira: no no, can we go back to the soup ma-(Jaune interrupts)

Jaune says excitedly: BIS-QUE

Ghira: yeah, especially the mushroom one

Jaune pushes up his glasses: Shrimp Bisque, (Jaune then stares right at the couple with a loving face) LOBSTER BIS-QUE

Ghira says impatiently: no, like I said the mushroom one

Jaune: World Famous (he then proceeds to put his right hand on his heart and face his menu) Lobster Bisque

Ghira: that's great, I don't like seafoo-(Jaune interrupts)

Jaune: Ryan Reynolds (Ghira and Kali look at him strangely) do you know him?

Ghira says hesitantly: yeah

Jaune: hmm Charles Barkly hmm, you know him too? Jim Carrey?

Ghira: Yeah your just naming famous peop-(Jaune interrupts)

Jaune: They like it

Ghira says confusedly: They like what

Jaune: Lobster Bisque, five stars, five thumbs up, five children-(Kali cuts him off)

Kali says in a gentle tone: You know what, I… that's sounds really good, I will get that (Jaune says wow) Ghira will get something else (both Ghira and Jaune nod in agreement)

Jaune affirming with Kali: yeah ok, ok that's a good choice

Ghira: Can I have the mushroom bisque, that sounded good

Jaune: mushroom ok, what kinda mushrooms please?

Ghira says in disappointment: you have more than one kind of mushroom!

Jaune: Portabella, Shitake, white mushroom, brown mushroom

Ghira: I don't really know the difference

Jaune: Wild mushroom, cremini, poisonous mushroom

Kali says with concern: Wait, what do you mean poisonous mushroom?

Jaune says defensively: It's not fatal, the poison is boiled out…. ObViOuSlY

Ghira: O-kay, um well which one would you suggest out of all of those?

Jaune Excitedly: LOBSTER BIS-QUE

Ghira says dejectedly: Oh of course, no um could I get like all of them?

Jaune says questioningly: You want 27 bowls of soup?

Ghira: No sorry, I mean mix all the mushrooms into one bisque

Jaune says sternly: What do you think this is… a stinking buffet (he gestures to his entire restaurant and mock laughs at them)

Ghira: Portabella, let's go with Portabella, is that all right

Jaune: ah ok (very quietly continues to say) it's your choice (Say normally) alright guys that twelve dollars point five six

Kali says happily: It's on me so (she grabs out her wallet and hands Jaune her credit card)

Jaune after grabbing the card: There's the card, Swipey Swipey (Jaune says as he swipes the card) okay that's ah… ah authorized (hands card back to Kali) okay you may… you may please have a seat at the table (Jaune gestures to an empty table) and you can use the chairs if you want, I'll be right back (Jaune enters the kitchen)

(Ghira and Kali go to sit at the empty table)

Kali in playful way: I'm sorry I guess they have a lot of soup options

Ghira while chuckling: yeah seriously, crazy (His smile leaves when he sees the kitchen door open)

Jaune says as he makes his way to their table: um hey guys, hi, uh so lis-(Jaune turns to Sages and Scarlets table and taps Sage on the shoulder) hey you guys how is the food?

Sage: It's good

Jaune: ok ok (he then walks up to Ghira and Kali) Hi, I apologize for the inconvenience, but we are out of all of the portabella bisque (Jaune says dejectedly)

Ghira says a little irked: Um ok, that's fine, I will have any other kind of mushroom (Jaune turns around) thank you (Jaune then turns back)

Jaune: Um... I apologize for the inconvenience, but we are out of all of the mushroom's bisque

Ghira says defeated: Seriously, okay, um tomato, let's go with tomato that's sounds fine (Jaune goes to ask what kind of tomato, but Ghira already put up his hand waving Jaune) yeah no, no, I don't care what kind of tomato (Jaune tries to speak, but Ghira again cuts him off) so roma, roma lets go with roma

Jaune: There is only one kind of tomato

Ghira shouts in frustration: I will have that one (He says as he slammed the table) please

Jaune: but uh (looks back at the kitchen then looks back at Ghira) I apologize for the great inconvenience!

Ghira says in frustration: Your out of that one too, okay um, what do you have?

Jaune: LOBSTER BIS-QUE

**END SCENE**

**I'm new around the block, man writing is hard. Let me know in the comments if you want more Bisque Jaune**


	2. Hibiscus

**Hello Internet, this is part two to the Bisque man. Yes, this is based off Studio C's Bisque guy, but he just too funny. Look up Studio c Bisque and you will find all his hilarious videos. I going to do two more chapters that take after the studio C sketches than I'm going create another story that stars Jaune or James Perry (guy who plays Bisque man in Studio C) as the Bisque man going to Beacon academy to be the best chef, but he obviously will be in the wrong place, but hey that's what makes it funny. Let me know what you guys think : ) **

**Hibiscus**

(We see Sun here buying a couple flowers from Summer within her own flower shop, full of various flowers)

Sun: Thanks so much! I really hope my girlfriend likes these (But it wasn't his girlfriend, it was Blake, whom he hoped the flowers would help win her heart)

Summer: She is going to feel so special, trust me (She didn't feel special, she felt annoyed, better luck next time Sun)

Sun: Thank you (Sun waves goodbye as he leaves the nice flower shop)

Summer: Yep! Bu-bye! (Summer waved back)

(Then a nice-looking young man wearing a black tuxedo, golden vest, black bow tie around his neck, white gloves, and circular glasses that made it really hard to see the wearers eyes came into her shop)

Jaune: Uh hey guys… hi, so today I am in need a flower (He says while staring at Summer)

Summer says smiling: Oh! Well you've come to the right place!

Jaune says happily: Oh good!

Summer says very nicely: You look very dapper

Jaune says matter of factly: DAPPER? I'm supposed to look SUPER HOT!

Summer says a little taken back: Oh! What's the occasion?

Jaune: I'm going on a romantic date (Jaune says while he stares off into space)

Summer: Oh! Great! So do you know what you want? (Summer says very happy for him)

Jaune: A warm embrace (Still looking away from her)

Summer deadpans: EXCUSE ME?

Jaune: Maybe a kiss in the moonlight (As he finishes his statement, he is again looking at Summer)

Summer says after realizing the misunderstanding: Oh, Right! With your date, I meant what kind of flower do you want?

Jaune: I'm not familiar with flowers, I sell BIS-QUE! (Jaune says the last part very excitedly)

Summer: Oh! So you're a cook (She is a little surprised)

Jaune: Mushroom bisque, eggplant bisque, Doctor Pepper bisque

Summer: Nice. Uh-(Jaune interrupts)

Jaune: LOBSTER BIS-QUE! You should try it, world famous lobster bisque

Summer: I will have to do that (She is really taken back by him)

Jaune: Yeah (he says as he is nodding his head up and down)

Summer: Why don't we help you find a flower? (She says hoping to change the subject)

Jaune: Ah yes, so I need something that says "Hey baby, who is your dreamboat?" (turns to look at Summer) Oh wait… "I found him, it's me" (Jaune's smile turns serious) Do you guys have that one

Summer says while taken back by Jaune's strange request: Uh, well, you could try these lovely daffodils (she points to said flower) or um- or how about a sunflower? These are beautiful (she says as she picks one up)

Jaune says with a sad face: Well, I'm sorry but my girlfriend can't see them. She is a blind date

Summer asks skeptically: so, you've never met her?

Jaune is surprised: How did you know that? Are you a sidekick?

Summer: No

Jaune: Do you also read palms?

Summer is confused: What?

Jaune: Because my lifeline goes all the way down my elbow… (As Jaune says this his left pointer finger is going down from his right hand to his elbow) I think I'm immortal (Jaune says faithfully)

Summer is lost for words for a moment: Uh, that's nice

Jaune: Yes

Summer trying to bring things back on track: Why not try a romantic red rose? (she says as she switches the sunflower for a rose)

Jaune ignoring Summer completely: Would my girlfriend like this one? (He says as he picks up a blue flower)

Summer: Oh Veronica?

Jaune: Her name is not VeRoNiCa!

Summer: No, that's the flower's name

Jaune: You name your flowers? (Jaune looks at Summer with much concern) That is not good, you will get emotionally attached

Summer: No, that's not wh-(Jaune interrupts)

Jaune: No trust me, one time I named my bisque Bilbo and when I sold it to a customer I got the post-partums (Jaune says in very depressed tone)

Summer says matter of factly: No, Veronica is the kind of flower (she gestures to the rose in her hand) see, this is a Rose (She then gestures to the flower in Jaune's hand) this is Veronica (She puts down her rose and gestures to the Lily) and this is a Lily

Jaune: Oh you named them all after girls (Que eyeroll) very interesting (Jaune puts down the Veronica and picks up a reddish flower)

Summer: And that's ranunculus

Jaune says defensively: you're Ranunculus!

Summer: No! That's the name of the flower!

Jaune: Get some help sister (Jaune throws the flower down on the counter)

Summer Sighs: Never mind, is that the flower you want?

Jaune looks down at the flower: No

Summer sighs dejectedly: Oh

Jaune looks around and gestures to the whole establishment: None of these flowers smell good (He then looks back to Summer) Do you have any that taste good?

Summer is shocked once again: Taste? You're not supposed to eat the!

Jaune says defensively: She might… If She's HuNgRy enough.

Summer thinks for a moment: The only flower I can even think that people use in food is the Hibiscus

Jaune perks up: HI-BISQUE-CUS?

Summer: Yeah, they use it in herbal tea

Jaune: Hibiscus tea? You have got to be kidding me? (Jaune could not believe the wasted potential) What-where is it? (Summer takes him over to the Hibiscus plants, they look like smaller pink roses) What is this?

Summer gestures to the plants: This is what it looks like

Jaune picks one of the Hibiscus plants: Five petals, five delicious bites, five children- (Summer interrupts)

Summer: I have an Idea, why don't you take this (she grabs some yellow flowers) and you know maybe, this (she grabs some red Roses) and this (some sunflowers) and uh- you know a little bit of this (she grabs some orange flowers as well and present her creation to Jaune)

Jaune asks in disgust: What is this a stinking bouquet?

Summer deadpans: Yes

Jaune looks at it again with delight: Oh yeah, it is, it's nice (He then looks back to the Hibiscus in hand) but how else can I eat it?

Summer: Seriously? (Summer is very upset)

Jaune asks dreamily to himself: Hibiscus Ice Cream? Hibiscus Soda? Hibiscus Lasag-ina?

Summer Pleads: Listen, buy the bouquet, you could make her so happy, maybe even fall in love with you

Jaune eyes light up: Oh, that's nice

Summer says harshly: Maybe

Jaune: Yeah, I like it (Jaune says completely ignoring her harsh comment)

Summer then gestures to the Hibiscus: Or you could buy the Hibiscus and make some weird food

Jaune: Oh, conundrum

Summer pleads with all her heart: Honestly, which is better?

Jaune without hesitation: Hibiscus BISQUE!

**END SCENE**

**Thanks for reading I hope you guys and girls enjoyed reading this as much as I liked making it. Please let me know if I should write an original story staring the Bisque guy going to Beacon academy as Jaune or James Perry from Studio C. **

**Peace!**


End file.
